Too often we allow our pride to rule our lives. We suffer in silence and worry that we'll be exposed for the fake and posers we are. What happens is that nothing happens and we sink into mediocrity. We don't get the help we need and we let our flame, our light extinguish.
Think of having the right person help you is like having the right tool to build something. Let's say you need to use a nail to join together some wood. Is it not easier to use a hammer versus a brick? They both work, but one works way faster and better. Having the right tool for any project will save frustration and time.
Therapists, doctors, coaches, advisers, or even more team members will make whatever life you're building go that much faster and give you better results.
We have been having a discussion on how to finally move from Point A to Point B and today we are tackling relationships. We have discussed your health, your spirituality, and now we're looking to improve our relationships. But as you invest into your family, we want to keep this as simple and efficient as possible. Instead of relying on how we feel in our relationships, I want you to focus on doing a daily investment. But to make sure our efforts are not wasted, we're discussing the "Five Love Languages" so we can make sure we're doing the right stuff!
There are Five ways that we like to give and like to receive love and connection. This applies to our spouse as well as our children and other loved ones.
Each of these are explained further on their website or even in this episode. So listen in. Because I can tell you that this will save you energy and frustration when you can streamline how you can fill your partner's cup. If you don't speak their language you might be working your ass off and it won't make a difference in your marriage!
We all fucking do it! We as a society WANT easy! We want the Life Hack, the cheap, the time saving, effort saving easy!!!!
And it's killing us.
So YES, we're freaking addicted to EASY and it's destroying us.
What if you instead embraced the suck and knew that what you ACTUALLY wanted was on the other side of the hard work.
I hope this triggers you. I hope it pisses you off, because you NEED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS AT STAKE!
Own it!
Own your pain of your current situation and then freaking get ready to work.
What Happened.
I made a promise. A podcast, a blog, an email, and a video to help my tribe improve by 1% every day. And then LIFE freakin showed up!
Chaos is inevitable, so why did I promise and yet not follow through?!?
So, here goes, it's 9:40pm and I'm recording... FOR YOU.
But also for me and to keep my promise.
So, what did you promise yourself and where are you not following through?
This is your wake up!
Coach Nick
Why Listen Today:
We use our workouts and our food to give us just raw power and energy, but we also have stress hitting us from all areas and angles. We can use our spirituality to wash off this stress.
Spirituality is not religion. That is not the topic today to avoid any conflicts and to keep from distracting from this message.
Instead look at spirituality to define your place in this world and your purpose. Answer the biggest question of "why"?
As we practice our spirituality in the many forms of meditation, prayers, contemplation, and deep thought - this releases us from stress and worry.
So listen in for your challenges and to find out why this is 2nd in importance to your body but more important than even your relationships.
Coach Nick
Why You Should Listen:
It all starts with YOU! Meaning, if you want to make your life better and you think that the top priority is finances, or your marriage, or your kids... think again! You need to first work on your and THEN you will see improvement with the rest of your life.
A great marriage needs great ingredients.
Powerful finances require a powerful you - either as an employee/teammate or powerful entrepreneur.
So, let's talk about body!
There is NOTHING exciting or sexy about doing the work here. It's slow and steady. There will be very little BIG HUGE wins as we move from point A to point B. It's called the daily grind. And to course correct a HUGE tanker of a ship called your life, it's going to take consistency.
We love to glorify the "overnight" successes - the instant wins that we see all over social media. But we're comparing our normal lives to someone else's highlight year, so screw that!
Each day, 1%. That's it. And we're gonna win the game that way.
I would totally take a 1% win everyday rather than a 10% win once a month. or even twice a month.
So, remove the idea that this is your latest shiny object! But we are gonna be there for each other along the way.
I am just taking a moment to tel you how this next few months are going to work! I want you to feel organized and that you understand what I hope for you in your commitment to do the work and enjoy the results.
Every day: 10min or less
Each day will have a list of actions steps listed. Choose one.
Obviously the more work you do, the faster and better your results.
And..... go!
I messed up last episode's recording by using the wrong microphone is sounded all crappy. I should have taken a moment to double check things before I spilled my guts on the last podcast.
But then I had to let it all go. Because the message was downloaded. It was clear and I made my point.
While details mattered, I didn't want them to stall the message. So, done is better than perfect.
The Backstory:
Wife and kids left for Denver this weekend and I stayed to have a "beast mode" weekend to get some work done. Old me would have used this opportunity to yes get shit done, but also eat terrible food, look at porn, and binge watch movies and Netflix.
The temptation, of course, is always there but that's no longer me. I have to purposely make a plan and follow it. Meditation, meal plans, and workout. Use the downtime to also read or even record some extra podcasts.
Check out the full notes: www.peptalksforparents.com
Are you freaking kidding me?!? A new episode each and every day? And an email too? You're out of your mind.
So what the hell am I thinking posting every single day?!? Am I crazy or something???
Well yes. Because the rest of you day minus the 10 minutes you listen to me is probably going to be filled with mediocre messages from marketing and sales giants and new outlets from around the world. Scaring you, impacting you, and causing you to collide and buy their crap. So yes, I'm going to give you 10minutes - just 10 minutes to help you improve your life by ONE PERCENT!!!
One percent times 365 days = you are 3.65X better next year.
Let's do this!!!
Are you making $12 per hour or are you trading one hour of your life for $12?
When you say it out loud there is all of a sudden a HUGE difference in perspective.
With a GPS or navigation system, you must know where you're headed (otherwise, what's the point), but we did the work to first find out where we are currently.
Basic info. You must know both A and B in order to go from A-->B.
Last episode we made a declaration of A.
Today, we discuss B.
I challenge you to consider what would life look like a year from now and what could be possible for you.
Not just make a declaration but what can you envision in your mind's eye. What can you FEEL and what can you visualize to the depth that you could actually TASTE it.
Once we can declare this, then we can reverse engineer this!
What is it going to take to make you take action?
What crisis or problem will need to happen to actually to wake you up from mediocrity or being comfortable in your pain?
You're in pain but you're comfortable in that pain because you know it. You know what to expect. But you are fearful of what is the unexpected pain could become.
Unless you want to wait for that disaster; how about we instead be proactive.
Let's talk about where we want to go. But to do so and find our way, we need to get REAL about where we are RIGHT now.
Listen in and I will be posting the next episode PART 2 in two days! Get to work!
If you have ever been in a plane, you know about the pre-flight talk. It's where the flight attendant, provides the mandated safety instructions. Most passengers just zone out during this time and ignore them (which as a business, if you have a part of your customer experience like this, you need to cut it out unless it's the law).
But there is a great lesson that happens during this time. It's the part where the attendant mentions that if there is a loss of cabin pressure, then masks will drop from above and if you're an parent, you are supposed to fix your mask and THEN help your child. You are to get your mask on first, then help your kid.
You can't fill another's cup (aka spouse, team, kids, etc), if your cup is not first filled. You need to fill your cup, guilt free and on a daily basis. I'm not talking about sedating with social media, your phone, alcohol, etc. I'm talking about PURPOSEFUL cup filling.
Doing something daily for your body, your spiritual being, your family, and your business.
I learned this from Wake up Warrior. Guys, check out www.warriorbook.com. Or if you want to coach with me, PM me.
Ladies, check out Women Wanting More.
That's your action steps. Ask me for help or at least go check out these resources to actually get yourself started.
Last week, I dropped my tips for meditation and how it has changed my life - allowing me to burn off stress and train my body and mind to handle even more stress. More specifically, we discussed Christianity and Meditation. Make sure you check out that episode if you have any religious hangups about meditation.
Basically it is a forced disconnect from distraction. It forces you into a state of meditation.
I use it for stress relief and when I'm done, I feel as if I had a nights' sleep...seriously.
So, a float tank is a closed tank where there is no light and no sound and because you're floating in salt water, you aren't touching any of the walls. You're like floating in space with just you and your thoughts. And ideally, not even them, because you're meditating.
I love pitch black tanks, but I have had tank experiences with lights, some that are open and not closed at all. I have had some that played music the whole time and some that only play when you're done. They all work, but you will start to have a preference.
There's your tutorial. My advice is to start easy and work into it. Start with a large tank and have the light be optional. Try and use that time to meditate but don't force yourself if you can't. Just enjoy the quiet.
Had a client in one of my coaching groups I assist with post about his hangup with meditating. He expressed concern that meditation was too heavily influenced by Eastern Religions for him to fully enjoy meditation without any religious guilt. As a Christian, he was holding back.
First of all, he has been with us for over 60 days. That should have been shared LONG AGO. He wasted two months of potential because he didn't ask. YOU might be needing to ask for help or clarification. Do it!
First of all: Check out "Christian Contemplation" by Thomas Keating.
In this book, he talks about the how the church has used meditation all along. Monks and Friars did it long ago. While yes they copied the Bible over and over, but much of their time was spent in silence and it was this silence where they were tapping into their Creator.
Think about how society has changed. The normal day for the normal human has drastically changed. A man, before the industrial revolution, likely worked in silence all day in the fields with some interaction between his family or only with his son that worked behind him. But with less distractions and less technology, man was able to tap into his Creator.
Meditation is the perfect stress relief. It also increases your ability to deal with stress the more you use it.
All over 'stress relief" exercises have recovery periods or a price to pay. Shopping, exercise (obsessive), overeating, porn, shopping, drugs, alcohol, social media...
Meditation is your key to reduce stress without paying any price but time.
What do I do?
Introducing: WORTHY
My newest project about fear and self-doubt where I interview the best in coaching, gurus, and experts in the field of mindset and conquering your greatest enemy - the voice within.
You are destined to be YOUR OWN coach. This is your time!
Check out the links below for more information:
Get in the right mindset and go someplace you can focus. If you're driving with the kids, skip the episode and come back.
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Last year at this time, what did you declare? How was your life supposed to improve?
So really, the question becomes: What got in your way? What did you learn?
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Now, I want you to visualize where and who you will be one year from now.
What will your life look like?
- Body?
- Spirituality?
- Bank Accounts
- Relationships
And then look at the road blocks from last year and I want you to visualize the road blocks you WILL have this year.
How are you going to overcome them?
As always please leave a review for us in iTunes, Stitcher, or Google Play and please hit subscribe while you're there.
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Love and Appreciation,
Dr. Nick
I was setting goals and targets for 2018 and looking at all I wanted to accomplish and instead of just stating what I wanted to get done - I took it an extra step.
I made it a commitment instead of just showing interest.
Instead of just saying I was going to get healthier and lose weight, I paid and scheduled a Spartan Race Trifecta over the course of the year.
See the Difference?
A declaration is great and a really great start; but showing commitment by telling others, scheduling the event, or whatever it takes to "burn the ships" and get the work done.
How can you apply this to your marriage? Perhaps it's finding a sitter for every week and paying them whether you use them or not. Or committing with another couple to trade kids every other week for date night. It doesn't have to be expensive!
Check out this episode for ideas on balance and business as well.
If you want these episodes to magically appear in your inbox, make sure you check out www.peptalksforparents.com and register.
And if you want even more great content, daily posts are made on our Facebook Page.
Til Next Time,
Dr. Nick
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, the Art of Charm and they were interviewing Michelle Rigby Assad, an ex-CIA Intelligence Officer about many things including the stories in her head about belonging in the CIA but also more importantly, what it took for her to work with informants in the Muslim Nation. More specifically, what it took to break their assumptions about a young, white woman and to gain their trust to spill their intel.
Super interesting, but here is my main takeaway. During her conversation, she spoke about ambush training and how the CIA is training them to NOT FREEZE. In any dangerous situation, a person will either fight, flight, or freeze and it was the main point of training to always move from X. Get away from allowing yourself to be the target.
I say to you dear listener. In your everyday life, how can this apply to you in your fears, situations, and experiences. How can you "move from X".
Make sure you head over to our Facebook Page if you like this content and want more on a daily basis.
Links/Resources:
SuperParent Syndrome Facebook Page
Art of Charm - Michelle Rigby Assad Episode
Quick Life-Hack straight from my practice here in Rural Ogallala Nebraska.
With free time being short, I like to drop a quick tip now and then and for parents, this is a BIG ONE.
Stop finishing your kids meals. Whether in your home or out to eat it's killing you.
1,440 calories on average per week just by picking at our children's plates or finishing what they left.
That's approx TWO POUNDS WORTH OF FOOD PER MONTH.
Stop it now.
Check out the podcast for the kids bucket list idea and also check out our facebook page where I am going to give you daily motivation and inspire you to do a little better every day.
That's the whole point. No more perfect parent BS. Our goal is to just be a little bit better than you were yesterday and if we can band together and support each other - we just might make it out alive!
Til next time!
Dr. Nick
In this episode of SuperParent Syndrome, we talk about haters. Everyone has them! But they don't have to let them influence your life!
For the last six years, we’ve been doing light touch ups to cover chips and dings on the walls. But there comes a time when the whole wall needs repainted because the paint has gotten old and doesn’t mix well. We know, because we tried to use the old paint that wasn’t mixed well and was left with VERY noticeable spots! Touch-ups only work for so long.
This logic applies to more than just painting walls. Where else in our lives are we using proverbial band aids to cover up small problems?
In today’s podcast, I discuss why it's important to face those problems before they become a major crisis.
Take a listen to today's podcast. And as always, make sure to sign up for our show notes and links with our free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com and Weekly Peptalk Newsletter Sign-Up.