My only son Deagan had strep throat and with his fevers and discomfort this required more and more of our attention. It also meant allowing him to rest and relax while the other kids had to go about their regular day.
The other kids were not pleased. My oldest, especially, was totally jealous of all the attention he was receiving. She made this clear by acting out. I love how brutally honest kids are. She was not happy about the situation and, plain as day, asks for what she wants - more attention.
Adults have been trained to silence this in an effort to not be rude or impolite, sometimes to the extreme. And it comes back years later to bite us in the ass in the form of hurt feelings, broken friendships, divorce, and an unfulfilling life. We can only be certain of one thing. Disaster will strike. It will require us to give our attention to it. But we can't lose sight of our main targets (self, spouse, kids, or money) because they will be hurting from our lack of focus.
How often do you connect with the most important people in your life? Are you meeting their needs? Are you expressing your needs?
Make a list of the most important people in your life and assign each a daily, weekly, or monthly designation to connect.
What small steps can you do to make sure that, even during a crisis, that you can show those people you care?
My 7 year-old got a bug bite and she wouldn't leave it alone. She kept touching and touching it. I told her to leave it alone. The bug bite kept bothering her, so she kept itching it. Guess what happened. It only got worse!
In our lives, there are plenty of things that, if we just left it alone, it will go away. The stories that we tell ourselves at night, painful memories, or thinking about what we should have done better are painful points in our lives that we “keep touching” because it keeps bothering us. If we beat ourselves up or tell ourselves the same story over and over again, we don’t allow ourselves to move on and grow. The only way for those “owies” to heal is to stop messing with them and do the work to improve. Guilt and shame are the ball and chain. Forgiveness and expansion are the bolt cutters.
How can we break free from emotional “owies”?
Make sure to check out my website for show notes and a free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com
My wife is learning how to teach yoga and her program is 3.5 hours away for many many days. That means dad here had to put on his big boy panties and actually do WORK. What I'm saying is that I'm not "watching the kids" or "helping my wife" - I FRIGGIN' HATE THOSE SAYINGS! Their YOUR kids, you don't WATCH them. It's YOUR house and family, you don't HELP your wife. Men, step the fuck up.
We had a family reunion in a nearby town, but during the event, the kids and I took a break to a nearby park so the kids could blow off some steam and run around a bit. My oldest tackled the monkey bars and there was another little girl there trying it out as well. But one failed while the other prevailed. They were about the same age and ability, only one thing differed.
One looked down and the other looked at the next rung.
By now, you know who succeeded.
So, what can you learn from this example in everyday life? In your addictions and habits? In your goals?
Focus on what YOU TRULY WANT! Don't get distracted!
Make sure to check out my website for show notes and a free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com
Check out Heather's facebook page "ENOUGH" and listen in on her interview about shame and guilt in parenting and our self-image.
Heather's passion of working with parents and their struggles is clear in her presentation. Make sure to check out her other project where she teaches "Circle of Security" on an ongoing basis.
Special Guest: Alisha Fanning
April is Stress Awareness Month and I have a few KEY stress-busting tips for you in this episode.
My wife joins me as my resident meditation expert with some quick tips to maximize your time and effort here as well.
Stress Tips:
There is obviously a whole lot more stress busting ideas but these are some "sure wins" for you to start immediately.
As always, make sure to check out Peptalks for Parents website and sign up for our Weekly Peptalk!
April Fools! This fun, and sometimes infuriating, holiday of sorts is upon us!
But it is also a good reminder of asking ourselves a question, "Are we fooling ourselves?"
Are we fooling ourselves when it comes to:
Just a few examples of ways we could be lying to ourselves! So, what's the plan?
Take a listen to today's podcast. And as always, make sure to sign up for our show notes and links with our free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com
Special Episode: On July 9th, 2016, I weighed 295 pounds. By December, I was down to 236.
No shakes, no infomercial gimmicks, and no MLMs.
Wanna know how I did this? Check out my facebook page to officially sign up for the email list.
Learned this amazing new principle that I just had to share.
LOVE + FUN = CONNECTION
Think about it. Your kids, your friends, your spouse, your team at work. You want connection, you just need the above equation.
And the best part? It only takes 90 seconds.
Where did I learn this? From the group I coach with to push me to a better version of myself. Men, check it out at www.wakeupwarrior.com. Ladies, sorry, it's for men only.
HOWEVER, I do know this powerful lady that has an amazing message for you - check out her podcast "WOMEN WANTING MORE". Go there right now before you forget.
Peace!
Howdy 'Murica - we have now turned Pi Day (3.14 or March 14th) into a celebration of overeating PIE. And so I've come to talk to you about using Pi (or really a Pie Graph to upgrade your life.
You will have FOUR PIES:
1. Your Plate - 1/2 of your plate must be veggies. Then eat whatever shit you want, but start with the good and go from there.
2. Power hour - 60 minutes - movement, fuel, meditation, prayer, learning, and notes to the family.
3. Clean and prep: 30 minutes each - it will change your environment for the better.
4. Family Time: Put your phone away or the TV away for 60 minutes.
Listen in for more details and as always make sure to check out www.peptalksforparents.com and sign up for our newsletter.
We're obsessed with "overnight successes", touchdown passes, home runs, and all things flashy. While there is rarely a true overnight success, and those professional athletes spend thousands of hours of training that we don't see - instead we cheer and shout for moment.
Instead, we should be focusing instead of a base hit. Base hits are easier, smaller, and yet have an amazing impact as they are done every single day. If you are trying to hit home runs instead, you're spending most of your time striking out.
I also discuss how oxytocin (the connection hormone) supports this theory - check it out!
Please rate us on itunes, stitcher or google play - I appreciate you!
While hiking the mountains during a recent bootcamp immersion experience, one of the coaches made the claim, "it's better to keep up than to catch up".
What a declaration, and it's good advice on all fronts.
Lay waste to the thoughts that you can push your kids aside to somehow make up the difference with a ski trip or a night at the movies. Instead, what can you do daily to invest in them.
Your health. Why do we "sacrifice" for an extra hour of sleep or to watch TV at night because we're too tired from working... only to have a health crisis that forces us to "catch up"...
It's time to change your paradigm. It's time to keep up.
As always, check out www.peptalksforparents.com and please leave a review at iTunes if you like this content. I don't use sponsors, I don't charge for this, but I do ask that you share or review this in trade.
Thank you!
Want to change your habits? I first heard about this on reddit (subreddit/thexeffect); and it has made my goal completions set to hyperdrive. I am KILLING IT as far as new habits and the payoff has been huge! I have lost 60 pounds already and turned my life around.
The basics are this: we love to cross stuff off our lists and we hate to break streaks. So, you map out 20 days (or longer) and set a new habit. Each day you complete it, you cross off the day. That simple, but you'll be amazed at what you will do in order to cross the day off.
Listen in for more!
I was playing CandyLand with my kids and I saw a lot of parallels with some of the clients I work with and my kids. Mainly in how they complain when losing.
"I'm terrible at this" - was a common complaints.
Now mind you, Candyland is completely random change - merely a spin for how you move your piece across the board, but we choose to still be so hard on ourselves.
What's the lesson here? Listen in to find out!
As I mentioned in my last episode, we have recently moved. Anyone who has ever moved has experienced the frustration of wondering where they have accumulated all of these surprise belongings. As it goes in our home and personal belongings, it also goes for memories - our mistakes, bad blood between people, and past conversations.
I discuss cleaning both house and headspace. Listen in to find out how.
Check us out at: www.peptalksforparents.com
I've been on a break... of sorts. In the past 10 weeks I have lost 48 pounds, moved my family to a new home, and remodeled my office - so I let this podcast coast. For good reason.
The take-a-way from this statement is sometimes you need to step back a prioritize some "me" time. I had to finally take a stand and defeat the number one thing holding me back... my incongruency with health! Now, I can work even harder and faster.
What's holding you back? Are you burnt out? What could you change or upgrade if you gave yourself some focused time and energy?
As always, check us out at www.peptalksforparents.com for show notes and links!
This is my real area of expertise and there is so much that you can do with this topic. Pay attention closely, because a few simple changes can really change the way you communicate with others.
Communication is primarily unspoken and most of it is done via body language (posture, expressions, etc), but it also effects the way our brain intreprets the environment.
If you're sad, try smiling for five minutes. It will "fool" the brain into thinking you're happy.
Think about posture then. Slumped = sad,depressed and chest out and tall = happy and confident.
The cues give others the same impression.
Listen in for more and as always, please check out www.peptalksforparents.com for more!
Hot and cold tells us a lot about life. In fact, "cold" doesn't exist. Cold is merely the absence of heat. Look it up if you don't believe me.
Light and dark is the same way.
And I feel like love/hate and success/failure is the same too.
When I say success I really mean focused hard work.
Intrigued? Listen in!
It's that time of year again! It's time to get those kids back to school! Ever wonder if you applied that type of thinking to you again?
What if you took this opportunity to go back to school.
Take an online course, read a series of books, new bible study, whatever your passion is, you can choose anything!
Take this chance to really get the skills and knowledge to change your life.
Some suggestions? MIT has a whole host of classes online - FOR FREE! Check out "teachify.com" for some online courses as well.
It does not matter if you're a salesperson or not, you're constantly selling. As a parent, you're selling values, nutrition, habits, to all your kids. Selling is much more obvious at work, but you are at a disadvantage if you don't truly understand what you're selling.
If you sell jewelry, you're not really selling jewelry. You are selling a memory, or a keepsake. You are selling a symbol of love or affection. Jewelry is just the medium of what you are selling.
Insurance: You are selling peace of mind and a freedom from worrying about what would happen in worst case scenarios.
Understand? If you master what you're actually selling, you find new purpose in your daily life.
Make sure you check out www.peptalksforparents.com for more information and your easy-to-use newsletter where these episodes and their show notes are delivered right to your inbox.
We are so quick to beat ourselves up when things go wrong, but how about when things go well? Often we mini-cheer internally and move on like nothing happened, but it's important that we re-learn to celebrate. Relearn? Yes, like our kids do when they discover, win, or succeed. We cheer them on gladly and yet stay silent for ourselves.
So, pick your goals and write action steps and set some rewards that are equal to the effort.
Finally conquering a goal or task, make the payoff big!
As always, please check out www.peptalksforparents.com for show notes and insider information about what you can do to level up your life!
Hot mess moms and dad - you are not alone! My beautiful was at the fair and overheard a group of women making fun of another mom with a load of kids in tow. She posted a response on facebook and I am here to read that to you. You'll see why the community rallied and pulled a bunch of women together under #hotmessmomclub
The real point of this: let's support each other instead of trying to tear them down.
As always, please check out www.peptalksforparents.com for show notes and insider info!
Brand new Health Tip Podcast
I am going to share with you a series of unbeatable health tips that I give my clients on a regular basis.
This week is about why you should double your water intake and it's not just for hydration.
It's to help your stress levels, to burn fat, to also improve your physical health.
Why do we no longer celebrate our little wins? Especially when it brings us so much joy. Think of your smaller children and how they are so proud of so little (well, in their minds it's massive). We lost sight of that.
As I dined in a dive bar, I noticed trophies and memorabilia on the walls and shelves and it reminded me to celebrate the little things. It is proposed that the reason that time seems to quicken as we age; it's because we have less "firsts" and less things to celebrate.
With everyday being a gift, your challenge is to start celebrating at least one achievement a day. Write it down.
Make sure you check out www.peptalksforparents.com for our free newsletter and show notes.
Not talking sexuality or physical attractiveness. But are you being attractive? We can isolate ourselves or even drive people away, but what does that serve? How are you CHOOSING to present yourself to clients, spouses/SO, kids, etc? Are you consciously choosing to be attractive to them. Putting out great energy and sincerity?
Time to step it up my friends. It will impact your life.
Love you all,
Dr. Nick
PS: sign up for our free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com