I was setting goals and targets for 2018 and looking at all I wanted to accomplish and instead of just stating what I wanted to get done - I took it an extra step.
I made it a commitment instead of just showing interest.
Instead of just saying I was going to get healthier and lose weight, I paid and scheduled a Spartan Race Trifecta over the course of the year.
See the Difference?
A declaration is great and a really great start; but showing commitment by telling others, scheduling the event, or whatever it takes to "burn the ships" and get the work done.
How can you apply this to your marriage? Perhaps it's finding a sitter for every week and paying them whether you use them or not. Or committing with another couple to trade kids every other week for date night. It doesn't have to be expensive!
Check out this episode for ideas on balance and business as well.
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Til Next Time,
Dr. Nick
I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts, the Art of Charm and they were interviewing Michelle Rigby Assad, an ex-CIA Intelligence Officer about many things including the stories in her head about belonging in the CIA but also more importantly, what it took for her to work with informants in the Muslim Nation. More specifically, what it took to break their assumptions about a young, white woman and to gain their trust to spill their intel.
Super interesting, but here is my main takeaway. During her conversation, she spoke about ambush training and how the CIA is training them to NOT FREEZE. In any dangerous situation, a person will either fight, flight, or freeze and it was the main point of training to always move from X. Get away from allowing yourself to be the target.
I say to you dear listener. In your everyday life, how can this apply to you in your fears, situations, and experiences. How can you "move from X".
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Links/Resources:
SuperParent Syndrome Facebook Page
Art of Charm - Michelle Rigby Assad Episode
Quick Life-Hack straight from my practice here in Rural Ogallala Nebraska.
With free time being short, I like to drop a quick tip now and then and for parents, this is a BIG ONE.
Stop finishing your kids meals. Whether in your home or out to eat it's killing you.
1,440 calories on average per week just by picking at our children's plates or finishing what they left.
That's approx TWO POUNDS WORTH OF FOOD PER MONTH.
Stop it now.
Check out the podcast for the kids bucket list idea and also check out our facebook page where I am going to give you daily motivation and inspire you to do a little better every day.
That's the whole point. No more perfect parent BS. Our goal is to just be a little bit better than you were yesterday and if we can band together and support each other - we just might make it out alive!
Til next time!
Dr. Nick
In this episode of SuperParent Syndrome, we talk about haters. Everyone has them! But they don't have to let them influence your life!
For the last six years, we’ve been doing light touch ups to cover chips and dings on the walls. But there comes a time when the whole wall needs repainted because the paint has gotten old and doesn’t mix well. We know, because we tried to use the old paint that wasn’t mixed well and was left with VERY noticeable spots! Touch-ups only work for so long.
This logic applies to more than just painting walls. Where else in our lives are we using proverbial band aids to cover up small problems?
In today’s podcast, I discuss why it's important to face those problems before they become a major crisis.
Take a listen to today's podcast. And as always, make sure to sign up for our show notes and links with our free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com and Weekly Peptalk Newsletter Sign-Up.
My only son Deagan had strep throat and with his fevers and discomfort this required more and more of our attention. It also meant allowing him to rest and relax while the other kids had to go about their regular day.
The other kids were not pleased. My oldest, especially, was totally jealous of all the attention he was receiving. She made this clear by acting out. I love how brutally honest kids are. She was not happy about the situation and, plain as day, asks for what she wants - more attention.
Adults have been trained to silence this in an effort to not be rude or impolite, sometimes to the extreme. And it comes back years later to bite us in the ass in the form of hurt feelings, broken friendships, divorce, and an unfulfilling life. We can only be certain of one thing. Disaster will strike. It will require us to give our attention to it. But we can't lose sight of our main targets (self, spouse, kids, or money) because they will be hurting from our lack of focus.
How often do you connect with the most important people in your life? Are you meeting their needs? Are you expressing your needs?
Make a list of the most important people in your life and assign each a daily, weekly, or monthly designation to connect.
What small steps can you do to make sure that, even during a crisis, that you can show those people you care?
My 7 year-old got a bug bite and she wouldn't leave it alone. She kept touching and touching it. I told her to leave it alone. The bug bite kept bothering her, so she kept itching it. Guess what happened. It only got worse!
In our lives, there are plenty of things that, if we just left it alone, it will go away. The stories that we tell ourselves at night, painful memories, or thinking about what we should have done better are painful points in our lives that we “keep touching” because it keeps bothering us. If we beat ourselves up or tell ourselves the same story over and over again, we don’t allow ourselves to move on and grow. The only way for those “owies” to heal is to stop messing with them and do the work to improve. Guilt and shame are the ball and chain. Forgiveness and expansion are the bolt cutters.
How can we break free from emotional “owies”?
Make sure to check out my website for show notes and a free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com
My wife is learning how to teach yoga and her program is 3.5 hours away for many many days. That means dad here had to put on his big boy panties and actually do WORK. What I'm saying is that I'm not "watching the kids" or "helping my wife" - I FRIGGIN' HATE THOSE SAYINGS! Their YOUR kids, you don't WATCH them. It's YOUR house and family, you don't HELP your wife. Men, step the fuck up.
We had a family reunion in a nearby town, but during the event, the kids and I took a break to a nearby park so the kids could blow off some steam and run around a bit. My oldest tackled the monkey bars and there was another little girl there trying it out as well. But one failed while the other prevailed. They were about the same age and ability, only one thing differed.
One looked down and the other looked at the next rung.
By now, you know who succeeded.
So, what can you learn from this example in everyday life? In your addictions and habits? In your goals?
Focus on what YOU TRULY WANT! Don't get distracted!
Make sure to check out my website for show notes and a free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com
Check out Heather's facebook page "ENOUGH" and listen in on her interview about shame and guilt in parenting and our self-image.
Heather's passion of working with parents and their struggles is clear in her presentation. Make sure to check out her other project where she teaches "Circle of Security" on an ongoing basis.
Special Guest: Alisha Fanning
April is Stress Awareness Month and I have a few KEY stress-busting tips for you in this episode.
My wife joins me as my resident meditation expert with some quick tips to maximize your time and effort here as well.
Stress Tips:
There is obviously a whole lot more stress busting ideas but these are some "sure wins" for you to start immediately.
As always, make sure to check out Peptalks for Parents website and sign up for our Weekly Peptalk!
April Fools! This fun, and sometimes infuriating, holiday of sorts is upon us!
But it is also a good reminder of asking ourselves a question, "Are we fooling ourselves?"
Are we fooling ourselves when it comes to:
Just a few examples of ways we could be lying to ourselves! So, what's the plan?
Take a listen to today's podcast. And as always, make sure to sign up for our show notes and links with our free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com
Special Episode: On July 9th, 2016, I weighed 295 pounds. By December, I was down to 236.
No shakes, no infomercial gimmicks, and no MLMs.
Wanna know how I did this? Check out my facebook page to officially sign up for the email list.
Learned this amazing new principle that I just had to share.
LOVE + FUN = CONNECTION
Think about it. Your kids, your friends, your spouse, your team at work. You want connection, you just need the above equation.
And the best part? It only takes 90 seconds.
Where did I learn this? From the group I coach with to push me to a better version of myself. Men, check it out at www.wakeupwarrior.com. Ladies, sorry, it's for men only.
HOWEVER, I do know this powerful lady that has an amazing message for you - check out her podcast "WOMEN WANTING MORE". Go there right now before you forget.
Peace!
Howdy 'Murica - we have now turned Pi Day (3.14 or March 14th) into a celebration of overeating PIE. And so I've come to talk to you about using Pi (or really a Pie Graph to upgrade your life.
You will have FOUR PIES:
1. Your Plate - 1/2 of your plate must be veggies. Then eat whatever shit you want, but start with the good and go from there.
2. Power hour - 60 minutes - movement, fuel, meditation, prayer, learning, and notes to the family.
3. Clean and prep: 30 minutes each - it will change your environment for the better.
4. Family Time: Put your phone away or the TV away for 60 minutes.
Listen in for more details and as always make sure to check out www.peptalksforparents.com and sign up for our newsletter.
We're obsessed with "overnight successes", touchdown passes, home runs, and all things flashy. While there is rarely a true overnight success, and those professional athletes spend thousands of hours of training that we don't see - instead we cheer and shout for moment.
Instead, we should be focusing instead of a base hit. Base hits are easier, smaller, and yet have an amazing impact as they are done every single day. If you are trying to hit home runs instead, you're spending most of your time striking out.
I also discuss how oxytocin (the connection hormone) supports this theory - check it out!
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While hiking the mountains during a recent bootcamp immersion experience, one of the coaches made the claim, "it's better to keep up than to catch up".
What a declaration, and it's good advice on all fronts.
Lay waste to the thoughts that you can push your kids aside to somehow make up the difference with a ski trip or a night at the movies. Instead, what can you do daily to invest in them.
Your health. Why do we "sacrifice" for an extra hour of sleep or to watch TV at night because we're too tired from working... only to have a health crisis that forces us to "catch up"...
It's time to change your paradigm. It's time to keep up.
As always, check out www.peptalksforparents.com and please leave a review at iTunes if you like this content. I don't use sponsors, I don't charge for this, but I do ask that you share or review this in trade.
Thank you!