For the last six years, we’ve been doing light touch ups to cover chips and dings on the walls. But there comes a time when the whole wall needs repainted because the paint has gotten old and doesn’t mix well. We know, because we tried to use the old paint that wasn’t mixed well and was left with VERY noticeable spots! Touch-ups only work for so long.
This logic applies to more than just painting walls. Where else in our lives are we using proverbial band aids to cover up small problems?
In today’s podcast, I discuss why it's important to face those problems before they become a major crisis.
Take a listen to today's podcast. And as always, make sure to sign up for our show notes and links with our free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com and Weekly Peptalk Newsletter Sign-Up.
My only son Deagan had strep throat and with his fevers and discomfort this required more and more of our attention. It also meant allowing him to rest and relax while the other kids had to go about their regular day.
The other kids were not pleased. My oldest, especially, was totally jealous of all the attention he was receiving. She made this clear by acting out. I love how brutally honest kids are. She was not happy about the situation and, plain as day, asks for what she wants - more attention.
Adults have been trained to silence this in an effort to not be rude or impolite, sometimes to the extreme. And it comes back years later to bite us in the ass in the form of hurt feelings, broken friendships, divorce, and an unfulfilling life. We can only be certain of one thing. Disaster will strike. It will require us to give our attention to it. But we can't lose sight of our main targets (self, spouse, kids, or money) because they will be hurting from our lack of focus.
How often do you connect with the most important people in your life? Are you meeting their needs? Are you expressing your needs?
Make a list of the most important people in your life and assign each a daily, weekly, or monthly designation to connect.
What small steps can you do to make sure that, even during a crisis, that you can show those people you care?
My 7 year-old got a bug bite and she wouldn't leave it alone. She kept touching and touching it. I told her to leave it alone. The bug bite kept bothering her, so she kept itching it. Guess what happened. It only got worse!
In our lives, there are plenty of things that, if we just left it alone, it will go away. The stories that we tell ourselves at night, painful memories, or thinking about what we should have done better are painful points in our lives that we “keep touching” because it keeps bothering us. If we beat ourselves up or tell ourselves the same story over and over again, we don’t allow ourselves to move on and grow. The only way for those “owies” to heal is to stop messing with them and do the work to improve. Guilt and shame are the ball and chain. Forgiveness and expansion are the bolt cutters.
How can we break free from emotional “owies”?
Make sure to check out my website for show notes and a free newsletter at www.peptalksforparents.com